Subscribe Feed (RSS)Exclusive! Q & A with cougar dating expert Lucia
By Oliver1 | January 5th, 2009
Lucia: dating expert
Relationships expert Lucia is on hand to answer your cougar dating questions. If you have a dating dilemma or a romance riddle and you need some straight talking advice, send your questions to asklucia@cougared.com and we will do our best to feature your question right here on the cougared.com blog.
To kick us off, here is the first Q & A with Lucia.
Susan F. writes: I had some professional photos taken and I look great in them - in fact much more glamorous and sexy than I do in real life. I really want to use them on my internet dating profile but I’m worried that when I meet a younger guy in real life he’ll be disappointed that I’m not such a sexy older woman after all. Maybe I should put more regular picture on there instead? Please help!
Lucia says: I agree that the professional photos are not a good idea, since that is not the person who is going to show up on a date. I would suggest having a friend take pictures one night when you are going out for the evening. You will be dressed up and made up and will look more like yourself. That’s when I have most of my photos taken and I haven’t heard any complaints yet!
Jennifer B. writes: I’ve been chatting to a guy on MSN for a few weeks after contacting him on an online dating site - but whenever I ask about meeting up he always changes the subject. I’m starting to think he’s only interested in a ‘cyber’ relationship and that’s not what I’m looking for. I want to confront him about it but I don’t want to scare him off because he sounds really nice. What shall I do?
Lucia says: I don’t believe in the woman being the one trying to move things forward. Your job is to observe how the man behaves and see if this is someone you would even want to move things forward with. If a guy is not asking to meet you, then there’s a good possibility he’s just on the net for ego gratification and/or he’s already involved. Confronting is not going to help. If someone doesn’t try to move the conversation to the phone and eventually a date, I would suggest moving on.
Dave P. writes: I’m a 24-year old guy and I work in a downtown coffee bar. Lately one of our regular customers, a woman in her 40s, has been flirting with me really heavily. I’ve only ever been with girls my own age but I do find her very attractive and want to take it further. The problem is that I’m concerned about what my family and friends would say if they found out I was dating a woman 20 years older than me. Should I go for it and how do I handle other peoples’ reactions?
Lucia says: The “Cougar” lifestyle is still not widely accepted, just as interracial dating used to be frowned upon. I believer in 5-10 years it will not be such a big issue. If you are interested, then go for it. You have to live for yourself and not worry about what other people think. Often, people are just jealous or narrow minded and don’t want to open their minds to the possibility that a man could possibly be happy with a much older woman.
- Lucia is a foremost expert on cougar dating and age gap relationships and appears regularly on TV, radio and magazines. Lucia is the founder of theartoflove.net where you can get love tips, counselling and video interviews.
i have all ways been attracted, to older ladies my girlfriend is 54 , and im 35. she dont look 35, qwe been togetherfor 2 years and its great, thanks for the info online that was very sweet of you.
Hello Lucia,
I’m leary of the dating scammers out there..lately I have been talking to a man on here who contacted me three weeks ago .. He is a handsome,senstive,passionate..romantic man who says what all of us want to hear
I am not suggesting that this site is a scam but wondering if anyone else out there may have encountered scam artists putting up phony pictures of models that they can easily access,telling tall tales garnering a woman’s compassion…still feeling this person out.Since we have allready exchanged cell numbers ,I have asked him to send me his pic via cell..time will tell..Thanks for this site
La Dolce Kosher
We expect every date to end in a long term relationship. Even though your previous relationship ended after five and a half years together, it doesn’t necessarily follow that the next person you go out with will also end up being a long term relationship. Sometimes you have to date a few unsuitable people before Mr. Right turns up to wow your world. So with that in mind, never, when you first meet someone, talk about how you envisage your wedding and what you want to call your children.
Hi,
I would love to date younger men, and been away from dating.. Any men period.. I’m fed up with being used.
I presume rules still apply for a first date (cougar)meeting, no matter what age range. There have been a few who live far away and want to come to my
apartment to meet up and at the same time a friend (age 65)is asked out on the town only to be lured
into his (50PLUS) hotel room. They met at a night club. I am attractive and intelligent and get stumped by men on why gorgeous ladies still remain single.
Yes, I would love someone sexy, who is open to my interests and not to fly or drive down to play in “my love den”.. I am not exactly wealthy either.
I am not into sex on demand whether if they are 21
or 51. I am 48 years old.